• Flying in an airplane is not my preferred style of transportation. However, flying without an airplane is quite disastrous, if you know what I mean!
• I am not quite sure the Wright brothers would be too happy with some of the things passing as an airplane these days. It seems to me that psychotic midgets have designed modern day airplanes. Nothing in an airplane is designed for the normal person, and I might as well say it, I consider myself normal. I may be a shade taller than normal but I am normal in every other respect.
• The one plane I took from Detroit to Dayton Ohio was about as small as I have ever been on. Walking down the aisle, I could not even stand up but had to bend over in order to walk down the aisle. I heard a noise behind me that startled me and I stood up only to dash my head against the ceiling. That was not the worst headache of my flight.
• One of these days, I would like to meet the person who designed the seats in those planes. I will admit to being a little post thin, but after all shouldn't you be able to sit down in a seat when you are flying?
• I truly do not understand what a seatbelt is for with individuals like me. I can barely squeeze myself into that seat and then it takes me about 15 minutes to extract myself from the seat. I suppose a seatbelt is for the comfort of the pilot who believes that somehow I will not bounce out of my seat while he is flying. I could not bounce out if my life depended upon it.
• My seat was so tight and I fit so snugly in it that when I sneezed it felt like I did some damage to my inner organs. Somewhere in the Constitution there has to be something to the effect that an individual has the right to sneeze without hurting himself.
• What I want to know is why do I always have to sneeze when I am in certain situations like this?
• Then, comes the time when you need to go to the bathroom. The flight attendant will bring you all the free beverages you can consume. They know, and I guess they are snickering behind our back, that everybody is going to have to go to the bathroom at the same time.
• Coordinating the bathroom run is one of the trying exploits of flying the friendly skies.

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