• I guess I am one of those old-fashioned guys still wearing a suit. I have been wearing a suit and tie for as long as I can remember, which really isn't saying a great deal. Not much I can remember these days, which is one of the advantages of growing older.
• When the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage grills me about some incident that did or did not happen, I can always rely on the good old faithful, "I just can't remember!"
• "Well," she stammers as she stares at me, "but don't let it happen again."
• My problem is I cannot remember what I am supposed to remember so how can I remember not to let it happen again? (Sigh.)
• So, my memory is not quite up to par in many areas. One area has to do with my suits.
• There is only one thing I do not like about my suits. I feel most comfortable in the suit and so I have several suits that I wear on a rotating basis. Naturally, they all look alike so nobody knows I am rotating my suits.
• The secret to rotating suits is to have an assortment of ties, but make sure those ties do not look alike. I have enough ties that I do not have to wear one for up to three months.
• I have a bright pink tie I wear twice a year and every time I wear it, several people ask me if I got a new necktie. I always smile and nod in the affirmative. Why spoil a good moment?
• The negative side of wearing suits is occasionally you have to replace them.
• There are all sorts of reasons why a suit needs to be replaced. One is that you grow out of it or it grows out of you. Either way the suit has to be replaced.
• Another reason is that something happened to the suit and there is some tear necessitating the whole suit being replaced. The key here is not to let my wife know that there is a small tear in my suit. The moment she discovers the slightest tear in one of my suits she begins her plan of having that suit replaced.
• For me, a tear is simply a tear. If it is in the rear of my suit jacket, I do not see it so it is no concern to me. If other people are inconvenienced by a small tear in the back of my suit coat, let them replace the suit. I can deal with all kinds of tear oddities about my suit.
• Not so in the case of my wife. Even a slightly worn spot on my suit coat, begins her thinking of replacing it. Believe me; I try to hide it as much as possible to keep it from the ever-piercing eyes of my wife who sees through everything, even things that are not there.