Sunday,  September 2, 2012 • Vol. 13--No. 049 • 8 of 33 •  Other Editions

My humble effort at stimulating the economy

• All we hear these days are complaining about the economy and nobody seems to be doing anything about it.

The Lighter Side
Rev. James L. Snyder

Politicians talk about it all the time and yet do nothing creative in the area of improving our economy.
• If you could put all the political speeches end to end, there would positively be no end to it. What we need to stimulate our economy is some kind of stimulation that does not come from the government. They stimulate me, all right, but not in the right way.
• This is where I step in.
• I assure you I am not running for any office. If the truth were known, I am running away from every office I can think of, especially my church office. I have no political agenda or aspirations; I am just a plain ordinary American citizen. I understand such creatures are an endangered species in today's economy. I am proud to be just a plain ordinary American. I am not middle-class, lower-class and certainly not high class. In fact, I have no class at all, and I am glad to leave it like that. I couldn't pass the test anyway.
• But I am doing my part in stimulating the economy. The secret plan I have can be boiled down to one word: vacation.
• This past week I have bravely gone where I have not been for a long time and that is on vacation. There is nothing like a vacation to stimulate many things, including the economy. It takes me a whole year to scrimp and save so the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I can go on a vacation. But in the end, it is well worth it.
• After a weeklong vacation, I am highly stimulated to return home where I can recuperate from all that stimulation. My wallet is still vibrating.
• I must confess that the primary stimulation in a vacation has to do with my credit card. It was stimulated in more ways than I care to remember, and at the end of the month the credit card company will remind me of all that stimulation.
• If the government does not have enough money in its coffers to balance the budget, it is not because I have not done my part. Every time I turned around there was a tax on something. Do not let this get out, but if the government knows I turned around so many times, they will find a way to tax that.
• I am not a conspiracy enthusiast, but I believe I stumbled onto a most blatant conspiracy with the United States government. I am here merely to give my humble

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