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my life is normal. It takes a lot to rattle this cage of mine but once rattled lookout whoever rattles it.
• I am saying all this to get to my point, which is, somebody hacked my computer email account this past week. If you think I will take this sitting down, oh, I guess I am sitting down right now, but I assure you I will not stand for something like this. I have never been so rattled in my life.
• If a mistake is mine, I will own up to it. If it is not mine, lookout sender.
• The first thing I did was to call my cousin who is an attorney, Charles Sues-A-Lot, and laid the case out before him. My first question to my cousin attorney was very basic; "Is it still against the law to murder someone?"
• As all good attorneys do, he hesitated and thought about it.
• He then went on to explain that if he could prove insanity there was a good chance he could get somebody off very lightly.
• "Insanity," I asked, "is that hard to prove in a court of law?"
• At this point, there was no hesitation whatsoever. My good lawyer cousin said, "Not in your case."
• If insanity runs in our family, I am convinced it trotted over into his pasture a long time ago and has been milling around for years.
• At this point, murder is out.
• If I actually knew who this person was, I could "defriend" them like they do on Facebook. You can be sure I would defriend him with all of the sarcastic bitterness I could muster on that hot dog.
• I noticed this last week when I accessed my email a bunch of different pop-ups popped up on my screen. Instinctively I tried to unpop them without any success whatsoever. Every time there was a "pop-up," I had the instinctive desire to pop someone in the nose.
• At one stage, it got out of control and about 17,000 pop-ups jumped onto my computer screen at the same time. Without thinking, I immediately turned off my computer.
• If anybody knows what I did, you realize what I did was a terrible thing to do. I encrypted, or whatever the term is, these pop-ups permanently on my computer. When I opened up my computer, it was pop-up time for the hacker.
(Continued on page 13)
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